Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Perception

Day and night are blending. Sleep is awareness and awake is a dream. I feel tired all the time, no matter if I am awake or asleep. Most of the time I cannot tell the difference. I feel almost as if I am in 2 different realities. It seems like I post here all the time, but either I didn't, or I dreamt the posts. I also feel like I posted more YouTube videos, but when I look at the channel, they aren't there and I can't remember what they even were about.

Osiris' hip is bothering him. We think it is dislocated or something. A vet visit is imminent. I know this is true, because no matter if I am awake or dreaming, his hip is bad. It is a constant. When reality seems surreal, it is hard to take matters seriously if they appear to be just a dream. Osiris eats, and eats well, though he has lost weight. I worry, but he is still only a middle aged dog. Every day, though, I am happy to know I am documenting his life through this series of websites.

I watched the movie Inception, and it only furthered my perpetual state of surreal awareness. The movie was good, but it only raised more questions about the reality I may or may not be living in. So far, the red sky nightmare has stayed out of my life when I can clearly demonstrate to myself that I am indeed awake. I am hoping that this post itself isn't a dream. I have written that sentence before, or at least I think I have.

"Do not be afraid. You will succumb like the rest. Want no more than what he offers. To resist is pointless. Know not but the end." I hear this, over and over in my head. Word for word. I don't know if this is in my dreams or in the time I spend awake. After this is repeated, I hear a faint whisper, child-like, saying simply "the dark one comes".

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