The Solitary

The internet has not been strong in the last week. It hasn't worked for longer than a few minutes at a time sporadically throughout this week.  Someone is coming to look at it tomorrow and I can't wait for it to be restored.

Not having a link to the outside world frightened me. It was strange, an eerie calm, but a menacing silence. It looms over me, the prospect of being alone. My fiancee has been out taking care of family matters throughout the week, so I have been alone. The dogs are blissfully unaware of the internet and what it means to me. They doze, snooze, dream, and snore. I, well, I sit and stare at the lights on the modem. I time my mouse clicks, and hope that I get enough internet to find out what is going on in the rest of the world. I also feel like I need the rest of the world to know what is going on with me, even if there aren't many reading these, I feel like at least someone is, and to be connected to someone, even in a vicarious way, or the reverse of, makes me feel like I am not so alone.

I feel confined in the house. The walls are a prison. Whenver I am out, it feels like the house itself is calling me back to it. Something feels off, and I don't know exactly what it is. There is a room here, and this room intrigues me. It is subtle, as would be the case in any house that has been built less than 40 years ago. The carpet doesn't match. The door knob has a strike plate. The closet is broken. There are words on the walls. They were painted over, but they are still visible. They haunt me. They beckon me.  The door to that room is closed and I'll be damned if I go in there. Maybe I'll ask my fiancee to take a video of the room. The house itelf, being as new as it is, contained several oddities when we got it,  including the lack of a smoke detector upstairs, the thermostat was gone, and large chunks of air conditioner piping were stolen. You could say that the previous owner took everything including the kitchen sink.....oh wait, he took that too.

The nightmares remain. I don't know if they are tied to the house, as I think personally that a house as young as this simply shouldn't be haunted or even mess with my head. I have the nightmares wherever I sleep and they don't focus on the house itself, it simply happens to be a common setting. I chalk this up to my mind placing myself in a familiar setting, and it doesn't get more familiar than home. The latest nightmare had a record playing in the background, and I was sitting in the chair in the TV room. I was looking out the window and the sky turned red, as it does every time I see it in the nightmares anymore. I got up and looked outside. Thunder struck and the record started skipping. All it said, constantly, in a loop, was, "the dark one comes". I am going to the store and buying caffeine. I don't want any Freddy Krueger style nonsense going on in my dreams. Well, Freddy did wear a festive sweater, so I'd cross him out of the dark category. They're just dreams. They'll pass, in time.

The Midnight

I've never been afraid of the dark. I used to read scary stories as a kid, and I just felt like there was nothing to be afraid of. Recently that has changed. I lock up the house at night, not for fear of unsavory people, but because I feel safer from the unknown. I sleep with lights on now. I used to absolutely need to be cloaked in darkness to sleep. Now it seems to be the opposite. I keep having that red sky nightmare. Nothing I do is stopping it. My fiancée works nights, so I am alone here until she gets home. There are days that I'll wait for her to get home before I sleep. I also have become wary of the street light outside the house. Something about it feels wrong to me. I know it's an irrational fear, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like looking out the window at night. The world feels enveloped at night, like someone is out there, watching, waiting, observing, stalking. Something dangerous. It sounds stupid when I type it out, but it's how I feel. I want to board up the windows. 

Osiris isn't enjoying summer. It's been rough for him. We've kept Pixi from getting to rambunctious with him, as his hip is still causing him discomfort every now and again. He didn't eat much for a couple days, but his appetite has returned in force today. He keeps licking his paws. Is that normal? I don't think it is. My fiancée thinks he has obsessive compulsive disorder. I think he is a clean freak. 

I think I found the first layer that these creepy old ladies had mentioned. Maybe I'm wrong, but regardless, my findings creeped me out further and has subsequently made my insomnia even worse. I'll try to get it on video as soon as I can. I'm hoping this is unrelated to cryptic old ladies. I hope that was just some prankster. Odd coincidence though. 

The Catalyst

LA Noire is a great example of how video games can be more than any one element. The game features car chases, interrogations, shootouts and clue gathering. Everything blends in well, and the game shines for it. The controls are straightforward and the graphics incredible. The story is well done, as is the new technology that has the voice actor's facial animations translate to the game. All in all, it is well worth a purchase. The game itself is lengthy and has plenty to keep you immersed in the world. 

Osiris refused food today. Strange. I hope he just didn't have an appetite. Pixi ate, and actually tried to eat from both Both equally before I stopped her. Osiris has been rather needy as well lately, I guess he is just in one of those moods. He also hasn't tried to test his boundaries in the yard lately either. Maybe he is just getting old. Either way, I am still a little worried. He is a big part of this family, and when he is dragging, it seems like we all are. 

Another nightmare. Horrible. The sky was red. Lightning struck. I heard strange noises and then had a blinding headache. I came to and from the red sky came this vine like black mass. It reached out at me, beckoning me. No matter what I did, it kept coming closer. As I ran down the street, there were black "X"'s spray painted on the manhole covers, as if saying that trying to escape through those wasn't an option. I got in my car and drove, and that's when I woke up. I don't know why my dreams have been so messed up. I heard the laughter of children, and I can't remember if that was in the dream or if it came from outside as I woke up. I hate sleep. 

The Thunder

I dislike the 4th of July. Not because a am anti American, but because of what the fireworks do to the dogs. They hate the loud banging noises, and they are always afraid. They hide in the bathroom, and it is so hard to get them to simply relax after a loud evening of non stop mortars. I love seeing the displays, and some of the neighbors really go all out with illegal fireworks. 

We're all huddled up as a family right now, and we'll probably stay right here for the night. I covered my car in a tarp, and that is the extent of my preparedness. Pixi is on the bed with us and Osiris is in his chair. Well, he just got up and wants attention. He's had his fair share of fireworks, but they're still upsetting to him. 

I feel like something is coming. Maybe a breakthrough, maybe something horrible, or maybe simply some bad weather. I have felt like I have been anticipating something for a little while now, and I don't know what. Strange. Maybe it's just my brother getting his new Playstation. I don't know. I have started taping even more lately, as I bought a couple more 16 gig SD cards for the camera. 

I promised a write up on LA Noire, and it'll be in the next blog. 

The Resurgence

I will be able to post blogs from a real computer in a week. I can't wait. Every time I want to relay my thoughts onto this blog, I am saddled with the the limitations of my failing iPhone. Ever since I started the Osiris Chronicles, my technology has been resisting me. My phone was once able to handle my typing on the safari browser, and now it freezes when I try. 

I am doing my best to keep this blog updated. Osiris has hurt his hip again, so I've been busy making sure he isn't over exerting himself. I think he was just happy and feeling young for a day, and he paid for it. Apparently there are meds that I can give him to help, so I will be looking into those. He got a haircut recently, I took the scissors to him. I feel like I did a good job, and he looks happy for it. That enthusiasm is probably what aggravated his hip injury. 

Have you ever had a moment where you remember something that is important, but somehow forget it before you can translate that thought into writing? This just happened to me. Between nightmares and flashes of forgetfulness, I've had a rough go of things. I've been recommended to keep a dream journal. Draw what is in the dreams, write what is remembered. I've started doing this already, as I mentioned in a previous blog entry. Nothing worth mentioning so far, and the only nightmare I had since starting this I had forgotten in translation much like just now. I will persevere, however, and hope something comes of this. 

Another woman came up to me, while at the video store. She asked simply, "have you looked under the first layer yet?". I was bewildered. I thought the first crazy lady was an anomaly. I think there is a prankster paying nice old ladies to tell me cryptic nonsense. The weird thing is though, she rented The Stand, the Stephen King mini series version. I think it's possible the prankster knew I mentioned The Stand earlier, but how would they know who I am? 

Continuing my random video game write ups will be L.A. Noire. I'll have my thoughts on it in an upcoming blog post. 

The Electricity

I was able to get the video game InFamous 2 a couple weeks ago, and after playing it non stop for quite a while, these are my impressions. 

The gameplay is solid. The parkour climbing aspects have been cleaned up and there are new, fun ways to scale buildings. The buildings themselves are varied nicely, and the half underwater "flood town" is a cool locale. No one building or place stood out, but the city as a whole felt solid. 

The fighting mechanics are much better. Cole gains many great new attacks and the melée aspect has been greatly improved. He carries a giant electrical tuning fork looking weapon called the "amp" and with it, melée combat is immensely satisfying. 

The storyline is good, not too simple and yet not convoluted. It's easy enough to follow. The game opens with a comic book style cinematic that's gets you up to speed. 

All in all, great game. InFamous 1 was great, and InFamous 2 improved on nearly all facets. Even the new voice actor did a fine job. 

No real news, just been talking to my fiancée's friends. Apparently some guy has been sneaking into their garage and messed with their electrical inside it. I think it's just some deadbeat neighbor. 

The Punch

Pixi punched me in the eye today. Flush. I've spent the whole day with a bandage around my head that I periodically put ice on. Her claw actually got my eyeball itself, so it's been miserable on that front. Osiris is enjoying the cool breezes that have infiltrated our room. He seems the happiest for this cool June. I can't blame him, it can't be easy being a long haired Golden Retriever in the summer. We'll shave his belly some when we get clippers. 

I'm not sleeping well. Maybe 5 hours on a good night. It's frustrating, especially since there hasn't been a bad dream for a while. The most recent nightmare involved a storm. The sky was red and lightning shook the house. The sky actually laughed at me. I woke up right there. I am sketching my dreams now, after this one. I'm going to lock those sketches away, and look back on them after I get past this string of nightmares. I promise to talk about something non nightmare related next entry.